As I am nearing three months after my second trimester loss, I still have people asking me if I am ok.  Most of the time my response will be "yes I'm doing ok" or sometimes "I'm hanging in there".  If I am truly honest, the answer should be "Not really"...or at least "Not always". Yes, most days I would appear fine.  Many of those days I even feel basically fine.  But then there are the days when I just...don't. I'm not sure if it is still hormones, or just my body, mind, and soul taking it's own round about way to deal with the last few months.  Lately though, it has been tough.  Yes, I know, I have 2 wonderful and amazing little girls.  And they should be enough.  And they are.  And they're not.  I should be happy with my life. And I am.  And I'm not. I feel as though I am in a constant struggle with my self.  My heart and my brain are battling and I'm not sure who's winning.  At first, it seemed pretty...

Our third pregnancy... In August 2016, my husband and I decided we wanted our third (and final!) baby.  We did "research" on old wives tales and statistics and any kind of information we could locate about how to increase the likelihood of getting our baby boy. (Although in reality we never cared about the gender, we just thought it would be nice to end with a little boy) We read about things to eat...things not to eat...things to do...you name it, we read about it.  We started preparing with ovulation testers.  Within a few days, I knew it had worked.  We waited a few weeks, and I took a pregnancy test.  It was positive. Soon after, at exactly seven weeks pregnant, the "morning sickness" started.  Which, let me tell you...Morning sickness is a phrase that really irritates me.  For me, it was NOT morning sickness. It was 24/7 non stop sickness.  Anything could send me running to the bathroom to hug the porcelain throne.  I was nauseated...